Lessons Learned

I have a very vivid memory from when I was younger. I'm not entirely sure how old I was, but I distinctly remember an event that shaped the way I see the world and the people inside of it. My father taught me something that I still hold onto today. Something that I feel all people need to hear from time to time. I know for a fact that my father did not intend to teach me a particular lesson, he did not give me a speech regarding the topic, nor did he make a spectacle of it. It was something he did, it was small, it was quick, but it had an enormous impact on my worldview.

Like most suburban families at the time, we were spending the afternoon at the mall. Back then this shopping center was quite popular and very busy. It had a great food court and a large carousel that lit up the entire section of the mall where it could be found. There was a fountain near the single elevator and tons of shops. One of my favorites there was the game store, big surprise for those who know me. I loved that shop, it was small, but it had tons of stuff that would spur my imagination to all kinds of heights. It is where I first learned about Magic the Gathering and Warhammer fantasy. I also picked up my first Warmachine starter box there. Going to the mall typically meant that I'd get to come home with a copy of my favorite magazine or a booster pack of magic cards. I loved it. My initiation into nerd culture is not the topic of this post though, so I will spare you any more geek centered references. 

I can't remember the time of year, I'm not sure if it was the holidays or not, but I remember the mall being busy. My dad and my siblings were seated on a bench, eating and drinking crappy mall food, which was the best at that time in my life. Might still be now...hmmm....Cinnabun.... But the event that stands out clearest in my mind is what happened while we sat there.

We watched the mass of humanity flow by, people of all different shapes, sizes, and colors. It was chaotic, but organized all at the same time. One face in particular stood out in the crowd and my dad noticed him. My father stood and approached this man, he was short and older. He had a wizened look and he seemed a little puzzled at who my father was, I never knew half the people my father stopped to talk to those days so this didn't seem out of place to me.

The man my dad spoke to was black, he was one of the first black people I saw my dad interact with as far as I could remember. Living in white suburbia at the time was one of the least diverse environments known to man, at least as far as a child could tell. The two men spoke for a few brief moments, shook hands, and then parted ways. My dad returned to us and sat. I asked him who that man was. He replied with, "That is a good man."

Like I said, I don't remember much  more than that from the event, I have fuzzy memories of my dad saying that the man he spoke with dealt with a lot in his time and my father respected him for that. My dad didn't go into how I should treat people of different races equally, he didn't explain the significance of what he did, he was just him. A good person.

I hope to be a good man for my children. I hope that I can show them that we are all human. That we share so many things in common, things that are far more important than the differences we see with our eyes. I want them to know that we all have the potential to be good, regardless of what others may tell them. I want to show them that a moments kindness can outweigh just about any hate or negativity. I want them to see hate and know without a doubt that they should want no part of it.

There are dangers in our world, we hear about them constantly. There is a group of people that want us to be afraid of each other. They want that fear to grow rampant and toxic. They want us to stay indoors, away from each other. They tell us that there are others, our own neighbors who are making our lives difficult. Because if we are afraid and angry with each other, we will never question those who make the rules.

The poison that courses through the veins of our country today needs to be expunged. We are better than this, we have come farther together but we still have much more to do. It saddens me to see the way we talk to one another and to hear the frustration in people's voices. I wish we could all take time to breathe, smile, and find the good that is within each and every one of us.

I hope to show my children, just like my father showed me, that there is nothing to fear from a good person. They are out there, everywhere, we just need to look past the obvious differences and take the time to celebrate how alike we all are. I want them to know that the connections we form with each other improve us, they make us better than we were before. I thank you dad, for being a good man. For teaching me through your actions that others deserve patience, kindness, and respect.

Life with Hailey and Writing Updates

Baby Hailey is here and life has reverted to the chaotic energy of living with a newborn. She is a gorgeous little girl and has been quite cuddly so far. So cuddly in fact, that she is keeping poor mommy awake most hours of the night. That is the extent of our worries though. Carrie and I couldn't be happier. Hailey is healthy, eating, sleeping, and most notably pooping with consistency. : )

Mommy has been a total champ, she handled labor beautifully, and I have been so proud of how strong and focused she was throughout the process. She even managed to chuckle at my corny jokes in the delivery room (of course these were not made during labor...).  That alone is proof that she is a much tougher person than I ever will be. I love you Carrie, very much.

I was fortunate enough to stay home from work for about a week  It was excellent, I am still super bummed I did not request more time off. I didn't have to the first time around since Henry came over my summer break, so I wasn't sure how long I would need to take off work. I figured a week would be sufficient in helping Carrie transition and taking care of Henry during the day. Man was I wrong. I should have taken much more time off. As I type this during my lunch break I realize that  I miss them terribly. The feeling of little Hailey sleeping on my chest while the sound of Henry's voice fills the house is by far one of the best memories I have recently created. I know that I will take it with me forever.

So, as one could imagine writing has slowed to a trickle. I was able to write a few hundred words here or there, but nothing significant. I have been revising and rereading a Minka chapter recently, it is getting close to being what I would like, but it still has a lot to be completed. All in all, the total word count has crept over 40K, which is around 100 pages, depending on font size and spacing. I'm pretty pleased with this, I just hope I can finish a complete first draft before the beginning of the next school year.

I am finding that continuity is my biggest struggle, so I find myself rereading older chapters more than I would like. Looking for various details that have been mentioned in regards to all sorts of things. I'm not sure what would be best to combat this, I feel like I am not using my time as efficiently.

I have been able to do a decent amount of note taking and scribbling thoughts down here and there. I was able to map out several large events that have yet to come as well as create a few new characters to join my current cast. I do most of my brainstorming as I clean horse stalls, one of the small benefits I can associate with that task.

Well that seems to be it for now. Thanks for reading.

Spring Break Accomplishments

Another Spring Break has come and gone, each year this break from work seems to get shorter and shorter, this year being no exception. I had a relaxing break though, my family and I stayed local since Carrie still had to work and we are pretty close to baby girl's due date. Henry and I had some nice days together. I love spending the day with him, he's been such a riot lately. Everything is just a blast for him. I couldn't be happier watching his face light up with excitement, his little dance moves, and his signature "WHAS ZAAAT?!" (What's that?) when we do something new and fun.

Plus, I got to hit up Adepticon with my friend Craig. Which was awesome. Adepticon is a convention for miniature wargames that has been growing in size for the last decade give or take a couple years. Thousands of gamers from all over the world, descend upon the innocent and unknowing patrons of fancy hotels in the Chicagoland region. This year's was held in Schaumburg, not far from O'hare. You can find just about any game under the sun there, and for those of you who know me well you understand how I would feel about a place like this. To put it mildly, it makes me very happy. I was not participating in any competitive events, but Craig and I still had a good time. We checked out the vendor hall, played a few demos, had beer and wings, saw some old and new friends, and sat down for a lengthy game of Cthulu Wars (Risk with the elder gods from the H.P. Lovecraft stories). I actually won...well sort of...I brought about the end of the world by driving everyone mad, but hey, I think Lovecraft would have seen that as the true victory. Here's a pic.



Super nerdy I know. Like really super nerdy.

But break is over. Sad face. So, for those who are keeping tabs on my writing process, here's what I accomplished.

I managed to write a completely new Robbie chapter matching the narration of the chapters for the other characters. As I stated in my last entry, I am much happier with the way it turned out. It still needs to be looked over a few times before it is final, but I am pleased with how it is shaping up. That chapter turned out to be about 4,000 words which is around 13-15 pages depending on font size and spacing. I try to wrap up chapters around the 4k mark, I don't think teens like reading 20-30 page chapters. I could be wrong though.

I began writing a new chapter focusing on one of the coven members; this chapter will follow the girl known as The Voice (still debating on the name though...The Voice...Blake Shelton comes to mind...). So far, I have completed one other chapter for the coven focusing on The Reaver. Every coven chapter will give us a glimpse into what has happened to drive each member to become the way they are as well as move the plot line forward. I hope to create three unique characters with these chapters. One that you utterly despise, one that you find yourself feeling bad for, and the other whom you're just not sure about. I was only able to write about 1,000 words or so for The Voice, I would have written more but I was distracted and driven to address the Robbie problem.

After discussing a few details of the story with my friend Chris, we agreed that Robbie has become a little flat and boring. So, Chris let me bounce some ideas off him and I came to a better plan for the poor boy. I am going to attempt to discuss a relevant topic through Robbie, one that has affected me personally (So it should be easier to write about, at least that is what I am telling myself). Sadly I think this is something many kids today will be able to identify with, anxiety and depression. I think that is a relevant flaw for a protagonist without going to the extreme. I am a little nervous though, because I don't want it to become a total downer.

So, I began re-writing the first chapter of the book. It is not complete yet, but it is turning out to be much better. As I was looking back at my original I kept finding myself thinking I thought that was good? Ugh, it was kind of depressing, I mean, what if all my other chapters are like that? Well, I did a quick skim and  for the most part they are not, it is primarily the Robbie chapters that I have a problem with. I'm sure this is a problem for many writers though, so I'm just going to power through.

All in all I wrote about 10,000 words over break (I'm fairly proud of that), but unfortunately. only half of that was "new" material. The second version of my Robbie chapters set things up for new events in the story, but I don't necessarily count that as new material since I am using about 75% of the material I had previously written.

That's about it, I'm sure I could say more, but I will wrap it up here. I hope to do a post today or tomorrow about what I've been reading, so keep your eyes out for that.

Thanks for stopping by,

Brian